Relationships can be difficult, what with two people trying to mash their lives and quirks together. Sometimes (okay, usually), issues arise. A lot of them can be overcome with patience, communication and rationale. But some problems are warning signs to evacuate immediately. Here are 5 dealbreakers in a relationship:
Dishonesty: If you catch your partner lying, either for a “good” reason or something silly, it’s time for both of you to work on your relationship to rebuild trust. If they’ve repeatedly lied to you, even after the two of you have talked, it’s time for you to walk away. Honesty is the largest part of respect, and if you don’t have respect, you don’t have a relationship.
Negligence: Your partner is constantly standing you up for dates because they “forgot” or they just can’t seem to pry themselves away from their video games to hang out with you. If you feel more alone in your relationship than when you were single, your partner probably isn’t willing to be as committed as you are and it’s time to seek somehow who is. Relationships are about give and take, and if you feel like you’re the only one giving, move on and find someone who will make you a priority.
Intolerance: They are constantly angry about something. They refuse to get excited about holidays, special life events or even just amazing weather. If your partner reminds you of a grumpy old person, you probably don’t have the energy to be the only source of positivity in your relationship. You’ll just end up being pulled down into their misery. Do yourself a favor and find someone who will enjoy life with you.
Infidelity: Relationships have weathered and survived a single indiscretion. Usually it takes time, communication and complete honesty to reestablish trust. But if it’s been multiple times and your partner just keeps straying, cut them loose. If you both agreed to be monogamous, breaking it multiple times is too disrespectful to you to continue.
Violence: If your partner has ever raised a hand to you, walk away. There’s no excuse for violence in a relationship. If you have questions or need help, go to the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Now, if they’re not violent directly to you, but are violent in general (punching a wall, fighting with strangers, smashing an appliance when it doesn’t work or throwing a video game controller across the room), consider what effect that has on you. Does it make you nervous? Annoyed? Would you really like to deal with those emotions every day? Down the road, could you see yourself having children with this person? What effect would your partner’s aggressive behavior have on them? Seeing someone physically freak out can make for a very tense situation. If it happens, talk to your partner about their anger. If nothing improves, get out. You don’t have time for such a childish person.
Keep these dealbreakers in mind to ensure that your relationship, while not perfect, will at least be stable and respectful, which is the bare minimum that you deserve. Any less is unacceptable.